I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
