i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize