just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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