kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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