i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
