so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
