i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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