I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
