Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We're too hungover to prance.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
