yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize