So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
