We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
