Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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