did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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