I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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