How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
