The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize