Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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