@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
