im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she peed on how many people?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
