Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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