between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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