I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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