i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
