People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
