he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can you bring me the toilet please
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
