Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
