ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
