Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
