I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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