Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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