He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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