I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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