I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
