The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize