dude i'm inner monologue high
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
