i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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