I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize