Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
