Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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