What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
