ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
