the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
