We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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