i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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