discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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