She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
