i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
