You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My friends, they love my intelligence
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
