I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
