your parents love me but you hate me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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