Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
