No stitches, just platelets and will power
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize