There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
