She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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