Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Alive.
So much puke
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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