I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
