Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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