370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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