I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
