we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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