Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
