She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
