so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize